CV Bloopers 2013

Some of the more “interesting” things we have seen in CVs this year:

I also like to boast that I can complete the Rubik’s cube in 2 minutes.

I am currently Falkirk’s Miss Personality.

 whenever I have a blank sheet of paper I will usually draw a car in my mind.

I have been vegan since 1990.

 given the opportunity I always love to put on a show.

I also had occasion to visit an imprisoned British Professor of Anthropology, while I travelled Bolivia.

 Having worked in the same company for 41 years,

I hate shopping with my wife!!!!!

 I have a creative flare

I wasn’t the most comfortable in a classroom  

  I believe that I was different to the rest of my colleagues

I enjoy cooking and creating my own recipes which my wife enjoys, most of the time.

 May 2010 – December 2010                            Circumnavigated the globe

I have also had a brief encounter with 2/3D design

 Last year I featured in a double page article on distance relationships for “Cosmopolitan”magazine

I enjoy what most men enjoy, company, a drink, sport and whatever that comes with it

 I worked as a car violator for a local car garage

My dutes would include welcoming and appreciating prospectus customers

 Negotiating the price peacefully, but on a firm mental base.

NVQ level 2+3 in motor Vehilve Technology. • Accurate and fast typing skills with a typing speed of 35WPM.

 Test,check and reset photocopier perimeters

September 1992 – September 1996    Youth Hostile Manager   – SwindonTown Football Club

 Hobbies & Interests:  Film, music, literature, Tarahumara ethics , oat sodas ,

I continue to add to an extensive collection of cigarette cards started by my Grandfather

 My memory recall for parts numbers is exceptional to the extent, that I can still recall a full front end of a Mk 5 Ford Cortina.

 I am good at working large calculations out in my head.

 I am fully qualified at pray tanning and eyelash extensions.

Learning the trade was essential so I did a lot of by standing

 my father is a rare bird breeder

I learn quickly and don’t like standing (or sitting) still doing nothing

 Fire martial

I like film, particulary horror, but don’t hold that against me.

 I love reading kids books such as Harry Potter

Interests and Pass Times

 My other interests include astrophysics

I also would have to answer the phone if it rang and I was closest

  I sometimes have to clean up so I have mopped the floors, cleaned the friars and grills,

life is complicated enough without mistrust

 Career Brake  

 Accomplishments – Not much but a lot of debt.

 My contract was terminated from here as I was told i was not up to their working standard.

Inboth teams I paly in goal this helps me make decisions in hard situations.

Kitchen porter and sue chief

 2007-2013: Professional Gambler

 I prepared the mash potato, vegetables and the vegetarian dish.

 I also have a keen interest in Football unfortunately the team I support don’t !

Fault finding in-house cars after students messed up them up

 What can I say, I love cars.

This position involved emptying bins, cleaning desks and hovering in the office areas

 Duties include: Managing space and time

2001 – 2003 Irish Navel Service

 I now keep 2 snakes, a bearded dragon and a marine fish tank at home which I hope to grow in the future.

Happy Christmas!