CV Bloopers 2013

Some of the more “interesting” things we have seen in CVs this year:

I also like to boast that I can complete the Rubik’s cube in 2 minutes.

I am currently Falkirk’s Miss Personality.

 whenever I have a blank sheet of paper I will usually draw a car in my mind.

I have been vegan since 1990.

 given the opportunity I always love to put on a show.

I also had occasion to visit an imprisoned British Professor of Anthropology, while I travelled Bolivia.

 Having worked in the same company for 41 years,

I hate shopping with my wife!!!!!

 I have a creative flare

I wasn’t the most comfortable in a classroom  

  I believe that I was different to the rest of my colleagues

I enjoy cooking and creating my own recipes which my wife enjoys, most of the time.

 May 2010 – December 2010                            Circumnavigated the globe

I have also had a brief encounter with 2/3D design

 Last year I featured in a double page article on distance relationships for “Cosmopolitan”magazine

I enjoy what most men enjoy, company, a drink, sport and whatever that comes with it

 I worked as a car violator for a local car garage

My dutes would include welcoming and appreciating prospectus customers

 Negotiating the price peacefully, but on a firm mental base.

NVQ level 2+3 in motor Vehilve Technology. • Accurate and fast typing skills with a typing speed of 35WPM.

 Test,check and reset photocopier perimeters

September 1992 – September 1996    Youth Hostile Manager   – SwindonTown Football Club

 Hobbies & Interests:  Film, music, literature, Tarahumara ethics , oat sodas ,

I continue to add to an extensive collection of cigarette cards started by my Grandfather

 My memory recall for parts numbers is exceptional to the extent, that I can still recall a full front end of a Mk 5 Ford Cortina.

 I am good at working large calculations out in my head.

 I am fully qualified at pray tanning and eyelash extensions.

Learning the trade was essential so I did a lot of by standing

 my father is a rare bird breeder

I learn quickly and don’t like standing (or sitting) still doing nothing

 Fire martial

I like film, particulary horror, but don’t hold that against me.

 I love reading kids books such as Harry Potter

Interests and Pass Times

 My other interests include astrophysics

I also would have to answer the phone if it rang and I was closest

  I sometimes have to clean up so I have mopped the floors, cleaned the friars and grills,

life is complicated enough without mistrust

 Career Brake  

 Accomplishments – Not much but a lot of debt.

 My contract was terminated from here as I was told i was not up to their working standard.

Inboth teams I paly in goal this helps me make decisions in hard situations.

Kitchen porter and sue chief

 2007-2013: Professional Gambler

 I prepared the mash potato, vegetables and the vegetarian dish.

 I also have a keen interest in Football unfortunately the team I support don’t !

Fault finding in-house cars after students messed up them up

 What can I say, I love cars.

This position involved emptying bins, cleaning desks and hovering in the office areas

 Duties include: Managing space and time

2001 – 2003 Irish Navel Service

 I now keep 2 snakes, a bearded dragon and a marine fish tank at home which I hope to grow in the future.

Happy Christmas!

CV blunders hit jobseekers’ chances of securing employment

Job-seekers are hurting their chances of securing new employment by not spending enough time on their CV, according to a survey.

The most common mistake is sending a general CV to employers, rather than tailoring it to a specific role, according to research by the National Careers Service.

Two thirds of careers advisers said this stopped people securing new jobs.

More than 60% of advisers said spelling mistakes were a common error.

CV howlers

A 17 page CV including every detail from when the applicant was born

Use of wording that the person whose CV it was did not understand because he had paid a firm to produce the CV for him

Using an inappropriate email address e.g. iamgreat@

A CV typed entirely in capital letters

A company name spelt incorrectly throughout the CV

Joe Billington, director of the National Careers Service, said: “People know they are making mistakes, but they are not spending enough time on making sure their CV is fit for purpose.”

“A CV is an applicant’s shop window. With the right advice and support anyone can turn their CV from a careers void into a careers victory.”

Most careers advisers believe people should spend an hour a week working on their CV, but fewer than a third of jobseekers agree.

Examples of the types of mistakes encountered by advisers for the National Careers Service include a 17-page CV, a CV typed entirely in capital letters, and the name of the applicant’s current employer spelt incorrectly throughout.

The report was based on polls of almost 200 careers advisers from the National Careers Service and over 2,000 jobseekers.

The National Careers Service, which provides information and advice on learning, training and work opportunities, says jobseekers should follow some basic steps to improve their CVs:

Ensure the email address you send your application from isn’t quirky as it is not likely to be taken seriously

Check your CV carefully for spelling and grammar mistakes

Avoid common clichés such as “team player” and “results driven”

Make small adaptations to your CV to target the specific requirements of the job you are applying for.

via BBC News – CV blunders hit jobseekers’ chances of securing employment.

Free CV Writing

Will anyone write you a free CV?

We seem to be getting a lot of “hits” from people searching for a completely free CV writing service.

I can assure you that there is no-one out there who offers free CV writing!

There are plenty of websites that initially say that you can make a CV free of charge but this is a honey-pot. They draw you in to using their site and you then spend an hour or two putting the information in that they tell you to (and it looks really slick) and when you get to the end you find that you’ve produced a CV – you just can’t have it!

In order to download the CV that you’ve invested time and effort in creating they want your credit card details.

We often get to see these CVs for review and they are uniformly pretty rubbish. They are all in very similar formats and, whilst they do make sure you have all the basic requirements of a good CV in place, the content has been written with all the usual mistakes that we see.

If you genuinely want a free CV then there are lots of basic templates out there that you can download free of charge and just fill in the blanks. Your only investment will be your own time, but you will not have addressed the underlying issue of most CVs which is that the content is not written in a way that sells you.

Using Headers in a CV

Lots of people use headers in their CV for putting in their contact details and on the face of it, it’s a good idea since it gives you a little more space on the page for content.

However, you could be making a massive mistake with your CV if you do this.

The problem arises with the scanning software used by the job boards and the way that they can read a CV. For some reason (it’s probably very technical!) they don’t scan the text in a header – just the body of the CV – so when a recruiter is searching through Monster or Reed they come across your CV and think “great! I’ve found a perfect candidate”, but then they can’t ring you as your telephone number was in the header.

In itself this is not an insurmountable problem because you probably had to give them your email address when you registered so they can contact you that way, albeit a little delayed.

What’s worse though is if your postcode was in the header. All recruiters search databases based on location anchored around distance from the potential employers postcode and if your postcode is in the header, guess what? That’s right, they won’t even see your CV in the first place.

So, don’t use headers, or footers for that matter, in your CV!

Mobile Number on your CV

Firstly, make sure you put your mobile number on your CV.

Recruiters work 9-5 (or 8-6!) and need to be able to contact you during those hours, or, at the very least, leave you a message so you need to give them the number.

Secondly, don’t write it as one long sequence of numbers as this makes it hard to read and more likely that they will dial the wrong number. If they call the wrong person they may not even know it as most people don’t personalise their answer phone message, and you won’t even know that you missed that call.

You should present it as 07777 123 456 rather than 07777123456.

This may seem like a very trivial issue but it’s the detail that matters on a CV.

Send us your CV for a free review and we’ll look at these type of details as well as the bigger issues such as layout, spelling, style, key skills etc. Your review is obligation free and is usually turned around in 24 hours.

Click on the link in the sidebar to get started and don’t worry, we won’t call you but just email you the review.


Text Boxes

We see a lot of CVs that make use of Text Boxes in Word – don’t do it!

They are a nightmare when you decide to change anything on your CV as they don’t obey the usual rules of formatting.

Whenever we get a CV in that uses text boxes we cut all the text (ctrl+x) and then use “edit>paste special”. Using this you can then paste the text as unformatted text and this gets rid of the boxes. If you can’t see Paste Special you may need to expand the menu by clicking on the arrow at the bottom of the menu.

Not only will this help when you make changes to your CV but it makes sure there are no problems when you upload it to job boards like Monster or CV Library. Their CV scanning software can sometimes get confused by the boxes and your CV ends up looking a mess!

Does your CV Sell You?

Sounds obvious doesn’t it? But, it’s probably the commonest mistake we see when we review CVs.

Ultimately a CV is about you, but you’re not writing it for yourself but rather to achieve your career objective. Whoever reads your CV will, in all probability, have never heard of you or met you and just wants to know that you meet their objectives and requirements.

You really need to make sure that when a recruiter or employer is reading your CV that it is clear what you do, what you bring to the role and what your motivation for applying is.

Remember that prior to interview a potential employer is thinking of only 2 things:

1. Do they have the experience to do the job?

2. Do they enjoy the job?

The final question can only be answered at interview, namely “Will we like working with this person?”

So, make sure that your CV is clear and understandable to someone who’s never met you.

If you can’t spell…

If you can’t spell Curriculum Vitae then don’t put it on your CV – just use “CV”.

Then latest incorrect spellings we have seen are:

  • Cirriculum Vitea
  • and Curiculum Vitae.

The commonest cause of the incorrect spelling is using CAPITALS which don’t get picked up by the spell checker in Word.

So, if you are writing your own CV and spelling is not your strong point, make sure you have the spell checker on and that you don’t use capital letters for full words.